Screw work-life balance

I've never understood work-life balance. Never.

That's not a brag. It's genuine confusion. I've worked hard my whole life. Long hours. Weekends. Late nights building things while listening to techno. I like "to work".

So when people talk about "balance," I nod politely. But inside I'm thinking: what are we actually balancing here?

The phrase itself is broken.

"Balance" implies a zero-sum game. You take from one side and add to the other. An hour of work means an hour stolen from life. An hour of life means an hour stolen from work.

That math only works if you measure in hours.

But output isn't hours. Life isn't hours. It's creation, energy, meaning, experience... none of that is measured in hours.

So why do people need balance?

I think it comes down to two things:

1. They hate their work
2. They don't regulate themselves

If your job drains you, of course you need to protect yourself from it. You need boundaries. Walls. An off-switch. "Balance" is a survival mechanism.

But that's not a solution. That's a bandage.

Is this about privilege? Maybe.

Some people have more freedom than others. That's real.

But freedom isn't just given. It's also selected. Paying attention in interviews. Walking away from micromanagement. Avoiding places where counting hours is the cult.

The best bosses don't track time. They track output. And when you find them, you reward that trust with everything you have.

The jobs where people are treated like machines? Those are the ones where "balance" becomes necessary. Where you count hours until you can leave.

Not everyone can leave a bad job tomorrow. But the goal isn't to cope better with work that drains you. It's to stop accepting that work in the first place.

And if you manage people? Don't expect hours. Expect results.

And then there's self-regulation.

The people I know who thrive don't talk about balance. They talk about rhythm. Intensity followed by rest. Seasons, not daily negotiations.

They know when to push. They know when to stop. They don't need a wellness app to tell them.

It's knowing that skipping dinner with your kids every night will cost you more than it gains. It's knowing that creativity needs input. So you read, travel, have conversations. Not as "life" separate from "work." As fuel for both.

When you self-regulate, 1+1 becomes 3.

I've worked during holidays. Sometimes quite a bit. And I've gone to the gym during work time. Often my best ideas come when I'm working out.

Is that work or is that life? Does it matter? I've stopped caring.

When I wake up, my brain starts boiling with new ideas. I almost jump out of bed to make them become reality. Is that a curse or a blessing? For me it's a blessing.

The brain doesn't have an on off switch. Sometimes it works overtime during the weekend. Sometimes it doesn't work during the week. Knowing that helps me regulate.

When the line blurs, you stop counting hours. You're not balancing anymore. You're building.

The uncomfortable truth

If you need work-life balance, something is broken.

Either your work is wrong. Or your self-regulation is off. Maybe it's your boss. Maybe all three.

Stop asking "how do I achieve better balance?"

Start asking: why do I need balance in the first place?

The answer isn't in your calendar. It's in the mirror.